Three Common Mistakes You Need To Avoid In Your Divorce Case

A divorce is often a stressful, life-altering event that can bring with it a mix of strong emotions. It is easy to feel overwhelmed, and not think clearly, but it is critical to avoid mistakes that can negatively impact the outcome of your case.

Avoiding the following three common mistakes can help get the best possible outcome for your divorce case, and make the best of a difficult situation.

Not Preparing For Your Case In Advance
Although a divorce filing may take you by surprise, it is important to do some basic preparation in advance of your hearing. For example, try to secure some of the easily movable valuables like jewelry and cash before the break up.

Many people have watch and jewelry collections, some of which are very valuable. Take inventory and document all jewelry, watches, and other similar items, such as coin collections, before separation with photographs, serial numbers if possible, sales receipts, or appraisals. This can protect your reimbursement value, even if you might physically lose the items.

Often, jewelry and other valuables can “suddenly go missing” during a divorce. With one case that we had, a man’s entire collection of awards, magazine articles, newspaper clippings, medals and other accolades he had accumulated during his younger years as a bicycle racer disappeared after he left the house. These are irreplaceable items that he never got back.

Also, get current bank statements for all your accounts, including stocks and other securities. Record your login info and passwords for your online accounts, and consider transferring one-half of the cash into a separate account in your own name.

Another important tip - don’t leave personally incriminating items behind. Once a divorce is started, “sacred secrets” can sometimes become ammunition against you.

Involving A Third Party In The Divorce Process
Just about everyone needs support during a divorce. People tend to talk to their relatives, their friends, and even outsiders about what they are going through. As attorneys, one of the worse things we see in court is when one of the parties brings their new “significant other” with them to the hearings. This is rarely, if ever, helpful and generally is toxic to the entire situation. Sometimes a parent or a sibling can be helpful and non-offensive, and in those cases, we welcome them. Children should not attend court hearings.

Involving a new person in the handling and decision making of your case can sometimes complicate the matter, due to that person’s own prejudices and expectations. Our attorneys and staff are your representatives, and we always have your best interests in mind. We remain focused on helping you receive the best results possible. All too often, a third party brings emotional or unnecessary issues into the process that could lead to a less favorable outcome.

Lastly, DO NOT flaunt your case, your new self, or your new boyfriend or girlfriend on social media. Social media posts can come back to haunt you when you least expect them. Hurting the other party by thoughtless or mean posts can unnecessarily aggravate the situation, and can make you look bad. It is so important to keep things in perspective and remember that you were a partner with that person once.

Anger can prevent you from making the right decisions, make you ignore valuable advice you receive from your attorney, and cause you a prolonged period of grief and healing.

Acting out of anger during court proceedings, at custody mediations, and in the declarations you write to the court, often makes others, such as court staff, mediators, and judges, discount your position based on your perceived bias. Anger smacks of potential alienation of children and unreasonableness in negotiations . It can even make others discount your true facts because of a sense that you are exaggerating, or “trying too hard”. Let your attorney be angry for you if it’s warranted. They know how to do it professionally and effectively.

A divorce or custody case is not about “exacting revenge”. It is a proceeding designed to get you, the other party, and the children if any, through a difficult situation with the least amount of permanent damage. Ultimately, if you do harbor anger and resentment, living well after the case is your best revenge.

If you are contemplating divorce or have been served with divorce papers, don’t wait. Please reach out to the experienced attorneys at Smith Law Group. We are always here to help!